We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What drink are we having for lunch?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
