just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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