I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
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