We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
