3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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