these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
