bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
