Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
