The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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