she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
