i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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