I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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