I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
