He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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