I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
