im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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