I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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