We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
