its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
