you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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