We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
