Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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