She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
