yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
