id be glad to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
