guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
