ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
