tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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