please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
