that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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