Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
