WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
