I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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