Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
