And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
