hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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