I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
