She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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