If i come over, it means nothing
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
