Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
