I wish I could punch you in the face.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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