maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
