I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
