:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
