i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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