I CAN MOONWALK!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
