I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
