My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize