you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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