I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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