my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
