I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
