There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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