i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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