So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
