I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosι, bitch!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
