worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
