Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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