We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
