He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
