He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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