a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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