Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
