he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
