Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
