i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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