did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
