help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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